I Believe

3 Aug
I believe…that woman can not live by love alone (we’d starve)
I believe…that feeling sexy is not a state of mind, it’s a pair of crotchless panties.
I believe…that whomever leaves a slice of chocolate cake on the counter but drinks all the milk must be shot.
I believe…that when you have a grouchy day and your husband asks if you’re still taking your medication, he deserves to be beaten.
I believe…that old ladies should not be allowed to use the phone to make catalog orders after 9 p.m.
I believe…that I’m destined to never win a prize…and to prove so (again), I’ve signed up on Blingo.
I believe…that if the power goes out again I’m going to have to move to Tahiti.
I believe…that food could be good in Tahiti, and I’d get used to the heat.
I believe…that my son and daughter live to torture each other.
I believe…that you have a right to carry arms (in a locked cabinet) in your house.
I believe…that your husband shouldn’t keep the key to the cabinet thinking you’ll shoot him one day (where would he get THAT idea?)
I believe…that if you commit murder you should be someone’s bitch in prison for the rest of yor life (unless it’s self-defense).
I believe…that prison should be for punishment, not for rehabilitation.
I believe…I put my children in the chair for punishment, NOT for rehabilitation.
I believe…rehabilitation is generally a steaming pile of a dark brown mess.
I believe…my relatives are all coming to MY house on Saturday and for once I don’t care how clean the house is.
I believe…the bb gun my husband just got for my son will end up hurting someone (probably an animal or small child)
I believe…my husband is an old fart (at 33).
I believe…I’d better get off here and off my ass and do something, or else said old fart might just use those rifles on me!

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