What day?

15 Aug

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Banner, originally uploaded by scootersbabygirl.

My husband left for work this morning and didn’t give me a kiss…nothing. So, of course, I was pissed off. Almost every morning he comes in and gives me a kiss goodbye, but this morning of ALL mornings to not give me a kiss is just wrong. Then I get up and find this taped to my counter.

So yes, it’s my birfday. And I find I’m a bit upset. I’ll explain why: earlier this summer I asked for time off last weekend and this week. I had assumed (see, there I go again making an ass of myself) that because my birthday was on Tuesday we would celebrate (we = family = mom, step-dad, grandmother) the weekend before. We have a tradition in my family, and that is that whatever meal you want for your birthday, you get it! My nephew tested that the first year he was with us by ordering Lobster…in the middle of March…but he got it!

So not only does my mother disappear for most of the week and all weekend with my step-dad camping (okay, before you get pissed saying how they need their time, I totally agree, but did it have to be THAT weekend?!) So there goes that…add to that the fact that we spent the entire weekend with family, his and mine, and I didn’t get any happy birthday wishes. My cousin did give me one yesterday when I dropped something off, and that was nice, but nothing. My grandmother on my father’s side called to wish me happy birthday this morning, and my mother just barely called, but I’m still upset…

She called yesterday and during our conversation she started to talk about doing something THIS Sat…then she realized that I WORK almost every Sat. I explained that I’d had last Sat. off in hopes we could do something, and she didn’t say anything. So to make her feel better I told her I wasn’t excited about my birthday anymore, that it was no biggie. She said something about making something “if she had the time”. This morning I got her e-mail from yesterday saying she’d make a cake if I wanted and ice cream, or she’d do supper “if I wanted to go that far”.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I just haven’t grown up enough to NOT get excited about birthdays. But dammit, I take care of my husband, my kids, the animals, the house, AND work almost 30 hrs a week. Why shouldn’t I expect my family to uphold the tradition of having your favorite meal on your birthday? Why shouldn’t I want to be treated special for one day out of the year? My husband hated birthdays but now, since the kids are getting older, he’s trying to get into it. I really did appreciate his banner and the card he gave the kids to give me, but how come it’s not enough? How come I’m sitting here bawling because I feel like my own mother doesn’t want to take the time to celebrate my birthday with me?

Yup, that’s me…take your “special” day and turn it into a day of self-loathing and bawling. You just watch my husband ask “have you been taking your medication?” It’s illegal to get arrested for murder on your birthday, isn’t it?

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