Okay

5 Nov

And this is the post where I alienate the last of my readers LOL. I went here this evening for a little bit of fun. Yeah – fun – HA! Now, let me be clear straight from the start – I am very tolerant of other people’s religions. I don’t care WHAT you believe in or WHO you believe in as long as you’re not hurting someone else.

This site, however, made me livid.

If you haven’t clicked it (please do, and PLEASE choose option one when Kirk Cameron’s done talking), than you don’t know what it is. It’s a website the promises to help you (for a nominal fee) find the way to God. The first choice it gives you says it will prove to you that you have sinned. Yeah, I went to college, I DEFINITELY sinned. I’m a moron – I clicked 1.

The site started asking me questions, wondering if I had ever chosen another God above THE God. It said that, if I had believed in a God that was forgiving and patient and utterly kind, I was believing in a God that didn’t exist, for God is a right, and JUST God. It said that you should value God more than you value your own life, or the life of your family. It then asked if I had ever commited murder. Well that’s an easy one! Of course I haven’t! But THEN it said, “if you have ever thought about someone in a bad light, and had ever wished that they weren’t there, you have commited murder.” Well damn, that means that everyone in the country has, because everyone wishes that SOMEONE were never born, whether it’s Osama Bin Laden, Hitler (does it count for someone who’s already dead?) or President Bush.

I finished the quiz and according to them, I have broken all 10 commandments. This means, acording to them, that I am going to HELL. And yes, Hell was capitalized like that. It then said that, even though we weren’t worthy, and that we didn’t DESERVE it, God had given us a way into redemption. I didn’t stay around to see what that way to redemption was – I was sick to my stomach.

I’m honestly not sure what I believe in. I like to think that there’s something, or someone, up there pulling the strings. I think we all do when we want things to be different than they are. Never have I heard that you should love God before you love yourself or your family. I don’t know what I believe in when it comes to the “g” word, but if I did believe in a God, my God would say things like this:

  • Your family always comes first. Your family is a gift that can disappear in a heartbeat.
  • Don’t think that you can get off on murder by saying you’ve “found the lord”. A few hail mary’s shouldn’t save you from the slammer. And, if by some chance you truly have realized your crime and wish that you had never committed it, you will be forgiven by me – but I will still want you to spend your sentence in jail, because even though you are forgiven in my eyes, you still committed a crime and have to pay for it in order to balance the universe out.
  • If you can’t get to church on Sunday, that’s perfectly alright. Your religion is in your heart and head and soul, not in a building.
  • It’s fine to question things – that’s the way I made you! I gave you a brain so that you can use it, not so that you can follow along like a sheep – if I wanted you that way, I would’ve made more sheep!
  • Everybody makes mistakes – I made you that way. It’s when you don’t learn from your mistakes that you’re an idiot.

This is the kind of thing that MY God would believe – or does – or whatever…I’m a bit fuzzy on the details. Those people over there at Way Of The Master are bad in my eyes, because they are hurting people. They are making people believe that the only path to Heaven lies in believing their way. I know some people that believe in Christianity and are Catholics to their very bones, and hearing something like that would kill them. Guess what guys? You’re sinning and will NOT be allowed into Heaven – not even you, beautiful and still-sinfully-sexy Kirk Cameron.

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