Dealing With Morons

10 Jan

Those of you who have read this site for awhile will remember that my neighbors have a bad habit of taking something that belongs to us.

Our dog.

We will let him go one day and he won’t return for days! For instance, we let him loose Saturday morning and he still isn’t home. We’ve tried “re-training” him by going over and bringing him back every night (during the summer months when you didn’t get frostbite on your ass for going out in your pj’s), and we’ve tried keeping him leashed. The problem is that he’s been unleashed for 5 years and no one has a problem with him. He guards all of the neighbors and is in a perfectly safe place to be let loose.

Well I’d had it this week. I’ve had a really long week (work-wise) so I decided to call the neighbors and demand my dog back.

Talk about morons. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me – “Hi – this is Randi. Is my dog there by any chance?”
Him – “He’s around here somewhere.”
Me – “Are you letting him in your house?”
Him – “Nope”
Me – “You’re not letting him in your house.”
Him – “Nope. He comes in, though – gets a drink of water, then we open the door so he can go back out.”
Me – “You’re not letting him but he goes in?”
Him – “Yup.”
Me – “How is that possible? Does he open the door himself?”
Him – “I don’t let him in, but he comes in.”
Me – “How, exactly, does he go in if you’re not opening the door? It’s not like he has opposible thumbs or anything.”
Him – “Well…maybe I do let him in.”
Me – “Uh huh…”
Him – “But it’s not like I’m tying him here or anything…”
Me – “But you let him in the house. Please stop letting him in the house.”
Him – “Did you know there’s a leashlaw now in this town?”
Me – “Oh, so you WANT me to keep the dog leashed? The last time I talked to your wife she yelled at me for leashing him.”
Him – “Yes, I want him leashed.”
Me – “Alright, you don’t let him in and the instant he comes home, I’ll keep him leashed for the rest of his canine life.”
Him – “Fine”

So I don’t know what to do now. I hate leashing him, but I hate even more that he’s seduced with casseroles and being able to jump on the couch over at their house. We’re looking into an underground fence (as much as I loathe them), but even that wouldn’t be able to be in until winter.

*sigh*

What’s a girl to do?

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One Response to “Dealing With Morons”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Disclaimer: This Post Contains Lots of Swears « If You Can’t Say Something Nice… - March 30, 2009

    […] they asked where Duke was. Oops – we’d forgotten to tell them that once again, our annoying neighbors had stolen our dog. They’ve had a history of this, but Duke seemed to stay a lot closer to home this winter, so […]

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