24 Jan

My whining and bitching motor was running perfectly yesterday – I actually didn’t even get any work done yesterday, but considering the fact that I’ve worked straight for about three weeks, I guess I was due a day. Thank you guys for your support – I do appreciate it! I also realized this morning that I don’t update here regularly, so I’m going to try to be better with that.

Let’s talk about sex.


We’ve been married for almost 6 years, together for…wow…let’s not go there, it scares me. Anyway, Scott and I used to have a great sex life! How do you think we got two kiddos? Lately, however, that’s going downhill, and before you say “that’s normal”, you have to know that it’s ALL me.

Scott’s raring to go whenever I give him the green light, and, even though this may be “crude” (I still say that nothing’s crude on here – unless my mom reads it, THEN it’s crude), but he’d love if my lips remained locked on his manly parts for forever. Too bad for him that I don’t swallow LOL. Anyway, it’s all me. I think I’ve narrowed down the problem – it’s either that I feel fat and ugly, or that I’m taking stupid birth control pills – or a combination of both. I honestly have NO sex drive lately, and the mean and vengeful part of me wants to blame Scott.

“Why can’t you be romantic? Why can’t you sweep me off my feet? Why can’t you push me against the wall and ravish me?”

But then again, I’m a woman of this century so I know that if I want something, I have to go after it. The problem is? I don’t want it. I could be thoroughly content right now to never have sex again, especially if I just got a full body massage once a week.

Yes, I know, very sad.

Last summer we had some really intense sexual experiences, but I pulled us out of them because I didn’t feel comfortable and was having some body issues (when don’t I?), but now I think I have some issues about what happened. I don’t want to get too into it (in case my mother DOES stop by), but let’s just say that we did something we never thought we’d do. Now I keep thinking that Scott wants to do it again – and I don’t want to. He swears that he doesn’t, but who knows.

And it’s hard to feel sexy and want to attract your husband when you’re sitting there feeling like a fatass, you know? I hate when his hands are on me now, because all I can think of is the lumps and bumps he feels, even though he continually tells me how beautiful I am “to him” (I HATE that phrase).

Oy vey – any thoughts on how to rev my sex life back up again? My next stop will be copious amounts of alcohol….


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