Always Last Picked

29 Jan

When I was in high school, we did a musical every year. I’m not bragging to say that I have a fairly decent singing voice. Really, I do! I’m not one of those crazies you see on American Idol who thinks they can sing but can’t. I can really sing. Unfortunately, I’m no beauty queen. Every year I would audition for a lead role, and every year I was relegated to the chorus. “It’s just because I’m an underclassman,” I’d tell myself, “it’ll be different when I’m a senior.”

Senior year rolled around and the school decided to do Brigadoon – I know – eww. Anyway, I was stoked. I prepared for days, made sure I understood the music, and went to my audition. The music director said I did really great, and I just KNEW that the spot was mine. I was even trying to figure out how I would feel to have my first kiss be for a musical. Yes, I was 17 and had never been kissed. Anyway, I just knew I’d get the part – after all, there were about 400 kids in my entire high school – I was one of the few seniors trying for it – I’d get it, right?


The lead role went to a freshman.


I didn’t even get a speaking role.

“Randi,” the music director said, “you have such a strong voice that I need you in the choir so that you can keep everyone going. I depend upon you to make sure that the sopranos stay where they’re supposed to be.”

I believed him…for about 10 minutes. Then I realized that he was just trying to soften the blow.

Today I found out that I didn’t get a position with the company that I work for. I’d been hoping to get it, not just for the money but because it was a jump up. I’ve been working my behind off for my boss and have tried to prove over the last year that I’m serious about what I do and that I want to be in it for the long term. Now, she hasn’t fired me or anything, but I didn’t get the position. What brought my whole high school musical career into mind is what she said:

“That being said, I can’t afford to put you in that position right now because I’d have to find someone to replace your skills.”

Wow – different words, 11 years later, STILL mean the samn damn thing.



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