An Actual Conversation

26 Feb

Cue creepy OnStar voice…these are excerpts of an actual phone conversation between Randi and her Mother on the afternoon of February 25, 2008.

Me: You sound pissed off.
Her: Maybe.
Me: What are you pissed off at?
Her: silence…
Me: Are you pissed off at me?
Her: more silence…
Me: Then I’ll let you go, because I don’t need to talk to you when you’re pissy at me.
Her: Well, this has to get discussed.
Me: What has to be discussed?
Her:……YOU GOT TWO.

(apparently the mother found out that I have two puppies…well, better sooner than later I guess)

Me: Yes. And?
Her: Can you explain to me why you felt it necessary to get two dogs?
Me: Does there have to be a rational explaination?
Her: Yes, for me there does.

A few minutes later, after I have explained the reasons we wound up with 2….

Her: Well I don’t get why you felt you even needed one.
Me: See – there is no right answer. No matter what I say, you’re not going to understand it.

A bit later

Her: How is Duke handling it?
Me: Fine – he’s adjusting fairly well, actually.
Her: I’m just worried about agression. (from a dog who would rather gnaw off his own leg than hurt the kids..)

And later still

Me: It bothers me that you are so upset about this. It has nothing to do with you – you won’t be responsible for them at all. If we decide to go anywhere for our anniversary, the puppies will stay at a kennel. They have…(interrupted)
Her: A kennel.
Me: Yes – its the best kennel around. They charge $14 a day and I’ve known quite a few people who have taken their dogs there and they are all happy. Duke, however, will stay here and SIL has already said that she would have no problem looking in on him.

And a bit further

Her: I don’t know why you felt the need to do this. Its more responsibility!
Me: But responsibility for who? Not you.

Later still…

Me: I’ve been wanting to tell you about our trip to Maine – we went to Maine to pick them up.
Her: Yes I know.
Me: How do you know?
Her: (pausing) I don’t know….I just know. (uh huh – someone’s been blabbing)

Somewhere during the conversation…

Her: You know how you said you felt guilty for that free hot water heater? In vet bills alone you would have been able to pay for a new water heater.
Me: No. If you add up the vet bills for the animals I’ve had – my dog and my cats – I have NEVER paid over $1,000 during the entire time I’ve owned them. NEVER.
Her: That water heater wouldn’t have cost over $1,000.
Me: Mom – the estimate from the company was $2,100.
Her: silence…

And even better (she had said early on in the conversation that she wasn’t sure if she would be able to take the kids Wednesday like she had offered to due to a possible snowstorm)

Me: The kids really love them – they’ve been helping take care of them and having a blast.
Her: Well maybe they don’t want to come over now because the puppies are there and they’d rather stay with them.
Me: If you don’t want to take the kids because you’re busy, that’s fine Mom. You don’t have to take them.
Her: I’m not busy.
Me: Alright. If you don’t want to take the kids because you’re pissed off at their mother, that’s fine too.

Needless to say it was a long and involved conversation – but give me props as I never once raised my voice. I did get off the phone and call my SIL, however, because I am still mystified as to why the puppies bother her. Unless she’s popped onto this site, she doesn’t know what they look like, and EVERYONE (even CinnKitty) falls in love with them once they see what they look like. They’re very good dogs – they haven’t even made a mess inside (other than at night) for three days!! They’re learning sit/stay like champs and the kids just adore them.

Scott and my SIL have two different opinions of this conversation, because it truly did mystify me. My SIL thinks that my mother is jealous that I have a husband who is wonderful (most days) and a home, ect. Scott thinks that my mother just isn’t happy unless she’s bitching (he’s always thought this)

What do I think? I don’t know, and I’ve known her my entire life. I think that it is very rare that she is actually happy. I think she’s a glass-half-empty type of person and that she puts that attitude out into the world. And I think that my best friend was right in that it doesn’t matter what I say, or what I do, I will never be able to make her happy.

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