Forbidden Wednesdays – 2nd Edition

2 Apr

It’s time for Forbidden Wednesdays! Now, what should I talk about today. Oh! I know! Since my husband’s birthday is right around the corner, we’ll talk about one of his favorite things…

Blow Jobs
When I was a young depraved Randi, I couldn’t quite get a grasp on how intricate a blow job really is. I thought “oh, you put it in your mouth – lick it like an ice cream – and you’re good!” Unfortunately I have the worst time eating ice cream! It takes me forever, and by the time I get halfway through I just want to get to the waffle cone and ditch the rest. This doesn’t bode well for any man in my life, now, does it?

My ex-boyfriend hated blow jobs. Yes, I’m serious. He said that it was because he had been born without some nerve endings there, but I didn’t believe him. Because of him I thought that I gave blow jobs wrong! I met Scott and decided to try again and was ecstatic to discover that I really could give a good blow job! So ecstatic, in fact, that I used to give him one almost every day. Those are days that he remembers fondly.

I learned quickly, however, that you can get lock-jaw very easily when you’re giving a blow job – especially if you have a small mouth like I do. What – I swear I have a small mouth! Anyway, I started reading up on how to give BJ’s without going through pain and learned a couple of tricks, which I will gladly pass on to you!

  • Hands are our friends! Utilize your hand as much as possible during a blow-job. Use it to replace your mouth when your jaw is starting to get tired, and use it to cover up the amount of him that you just can’t get to. Teasing his balls is also an excellent way to use your hands.
  • Slow and steady and fast and deep. Never keep it in the same spot going at the same speed. Imagine that your hand was being rubbed in the same spot over, and over, and over, and over – it gets painful. Instead, vary things up, moving all over the place.
  • Leave the penis alone! Who says a blow job is all about the penis? Men get more pleasure from torment and from holding back than they do from anything else. Step away from the manly part of him for a few minutes at a time and explore other things. By the time you get back there, he’ll be so ready for it that it won’t take long.
  • Give his hands something to do. A man loves a blow job, but he also loves being able to touch you while you’re giving one. Give him access to some parts of you that will make him happy, and he’ll explode that much quicker.
  • Wet, wet, wet. I can’t emphasize this one enough. I know how dry sex can hurt, so I can only imagine how much a dry BJ hurts! Make sure that you get everything as wet as you can, from your hands to your mouth.
  • Biting. Some men like nipping, others don’t. If you do nip, make sure that it’s really, REALLY gentle.

And then there’s the two big questions – how do you deep throat and how do you swallow? I can’t answer the swallowing one – I think it’s honestly a matter of taste. Spit or swallow? Nope – now my cup of tea. But I can help with the deep throat problem. To deep throat for a few seconds, simply swallow before you go down on him. I swear! Because you’ve swallowed, your gag reflex is dampened for a bit, giving you time to go down. The more you do this, the easier deep throating gets. But make sure you save your deep throating for when you want to take the BJ up a notch.

And there you have it – tips on how to give a guy a mindblowing BJ…one that will get you a massage or anything else you’d like!

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