Hate to Bitch, But

18 May

I have three friends that I feel comfortable calling when I have something that I need to get off my chest. One never answers her phone, one is working right now, and the other apparently has her cell phone turned off for whatever reason.

Therefore, my friends, I bitch to you…or to the vastness of the internet, whichever the case may be.

I’ve told Scott for a LOONNNGG time that I think he should spend more time with his friends. I finally talked him into going to Deer Camp this past winter (where I got to spend 2 weekends alone with the kiddos), ect.

Yesterday we had a busy day, and part of that day included me taking the kids to a birthday party and Scott getting 2 uninterrupted hours of quiet here at home.

Cut to this morning.

I wake up with a migraine. Apparently calling them by their actual names means that I only get one or two a month, so I’ll continue to acknowledge what they truly are: migraines (as well as a total pain in my ass). I think I only get them now when I’m getting close to my period – again – I’ll deal.

I tell Scott that it’s on this morning and I immediately grab 4 ibuprophen and try to relax as much as possible. Scott gets a phone call from SIL’s boyfriend. He and his friend had been riding 4 wheelers and his friend had lost his glasses. He asked Scott to come over with the metal detector in order to help them to find the glasses.

An hour before this I had suggested we go bowling – which Scott shot down because it cost money. “Fine,” I agreed, “that makes sense. We’ll just hang tight here today and try to have fun with the kids.”

Scott then says he’ll head up to help SIL’s BF find the glasses.

Three and a half hours later, the phone rings.

“I told you it would be after 1 before you got home,” I said, the pain pounding behind my temple.

“Oh, we found the glasses 5 minutes after I got here.” he replied.

“What have you been doing then?”

“Riding 4 wheelers.”

When Scott and I first got together, he used to go on and on about how much fun it was to ride 4 wheelers and snowmobiles. I told him that I’d never had the opportunity and that I’d always wanted to. He used to go on and on, promising that I would be able to ride soon.

9 years later, I’ve never had a ride on a 4 wheeler or a snowmobile.

So here I am, my body exhausted already from trying to fight this migraine, doing everything I can to avoid snapping at the kids. My head is pounding, I’ve got tons of work to try to get done even though my head aches, and he’s off riding 4 wheelers and having a grand old time.

But, I remained calm and decided that I would be calm when he came home and explain to him why I was upset.

He comes pounding up the stairs and snaps at me, demanding to know why I was so upset that he was out riding 4 wheelers.

Prone on the couch with my eyes closed, I tried to calmly explain that my head was in pain, I was tired from the percocet I’d finally taken, and that it was something I had always wanted to do and hadn’t had the opportunity.

I thought that he would try to be a little understanding and maybe say something like, “I didn’t realize you felt that way hon! I’m sorry – I’ll see if SIL will let us borrow her 4 wheeler to go for a ride sometime soon.”

What I got was, “I thought you wanted me to go out and have fun! I know your head hurts…why can’t I got out and enjoy myself every once in a god-damned while?”

*if someone can point out the last time that I went out by myself for a few hours to have a good time, I’d really like to know, because I honestly can not remember it*

I shut my mouth, the pain in my head hurting too much for me to want to get into an argument.

A few minutes later, Babygirl says, “Daddy? What took you so long?”

“Daddy was out having fun. Can’t Daddy do that once every five years or so?”

Edited to Add – 2 things. First, forgot to mention something. We had discussed (for MONTHS) about using the money from the stimulus package to get a big ass flat screen TV. We’ve done the research and have finally found which one to get that is best for us.

NOW, however, thanks to his little foray into the wilderness with the 4 wheeler, he thinks we should get a 4 wheeler instead. Which, may I add, costs more than the money the stimulus package would give us. AND, if I may add AGAIN, we will be needing a new vehicle before long because our 1999 Escort isn’t going to live for forever (we have 2 – the Escort and a 2004 Freestar – I primarly use the van becuase I have the kids whenever I go anywhere).

SECOND – I read the post and then read Friday’s post about needing some Randi time. Looks like I got plenty, doesn’t it? (read that sarcastically, will ya?)

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