He’s So a She

10 Jun
I remember hearing about this a few months or so ago and thinking “ummm – no – he’s definitely not a he – they shouldn’t be saying that a “man” is pregnant”.

I read more of the story recently and taped the Oprah (first time I’ve watched Oprah in forever) that had Thomas Beatie on it. I’m sorry, but I still cannot call Thomas a man. Yes, Thomas took testesterone pills. Yes, Thomas had her breasts removed. Yes, apparently Thomas has an enlarged clit that he calls a vagina, but I’m sorry, you can not say that a man is having a baby.

On listening to Thomas talk to Oprah, it is extremely apparent to me that Thomas is like no trans-gender person that I’ve ever heard of. Most of them say that they just didn’t feel comfortable being a girl, but Thomas’ situation is different. Apparently he feels that he is exactly what he should be – a man/woman.

A man doesn’t have the desire to have a child. Scott has told me numerous times that he never felt envious of me holding a baby in my stomach. He loved being able to touch my belly and feel our children moving around, but he never once desired it for himself. He loved being the one to hold me and to protect me and to be there when I had our children. He also loved being able to hold our baby first (the jerk).

I honestly do not feel that his is right. Sue me, call me bad names, whatever. How is a child going to react in knowing that his daddy used to be his mommy from such a young age (and the couple has said that they will be telling their child from day 1). I will bet you anything that she will believe that she doesn’t have to be one gender or the other, that she can be a boy if she wants or a girl if she wants. That, to me, just isn’t right.

Guess what – I’m a woman! Surprise! Are there days when I wonder what it must be like to be a man? Of course! I’ve wondered what having sex as a man feels like, but I’m not curious enough to want to become a man. Yes there are days that I get annoyed at the female things I have to deal with (hello, hormones? Yes, I know, you’re still there and screaming at me, I hear you – I’m just ignoring you), but that doesn’t mean that I think I should be a man.

Are transgender people right in having their sex changed? I don’t know. I tend to say “do as you wish”, as long as you’re harming none. In this situation, however, how are they not harming their new baby? Not only are they going to confuse the baby when she starts to go to school, but the press is going to be hounding this couple and baby like crazy, and there may even be attempts on her life. Regardless, I wish the baby a safe birth and a safe life.

On another note and completely off the subject – Babygirl asked yesterday why me and dad “fight a lot”. This is proof that we need to do something to stop this from happening. If its start to affect the kids, its something that needs to be handled. My problem? How to handle it. We never get nasty in our battles, and we never physically fight, but the fighting is definitely an issue. Scott tends to feel that as long as we apologize to each other, the battle is over and there is nothing to worry about. When i told him yesterday what she said, he really took it to heart.

What kills me is that this isn’t some massive blow-out over cheating or anything else…I wish it was. It just seems like we’re turning small disagreements into huge battles when there is no need to. Anyone got a solution for that?!


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