Faults in Myself

5 Jul
So our respite girl is here – let’s call her RG. A few things you should know about RG:

  • She’s bossy. Really bossy.
  • She likes to think that she knows it all.
  • Combine the bossy and the know it all thing and you’ve got? A royal headache.
  • She’s scrawny, and looks as though a stiff breeze could blow her away.
  • She has beautiful curly hair that most of us would pay big bucks for…which, in her hands, becomes tangly and snarly.
  • She hates to brush said hair, thus turning it tangly and snarly.
  • She complains when *I* brush said hair, yelling “ouch” with every minute brush stroke.

Now, that being said, she’s actually a very good kid. She’s usually fairly considerate of others, and seems to want me to really like her…she achieves this by acting like “little mommy”, and trying to tell the kiddos what to do, which actually drives me a bit crazy.

It is difficult for Scott to remember that RG is in a special school for children who are deemed “unteachable” or “total brats” by regular school. This school works a bit differently and does a lot of activities for kids. RG?

Hates it.

She wants to be in regular school, but in regular school she’s destructive and gets sent to the office every five minutes. In her special school, however, she is also destructive (she’s thrown a chair before) and can make no friends.

RG, it seems, is at an impasse.

She’s not happy where she is, and she’s not willing to do what she needs to do to go back to where she wants to be. *le sigh*.

Her mother does love and care for her, and is trying her damnest to help RG become a productive, happy person.

I don’t think RG knows when she’s happy.

Scott was reminded today about some of RG’s issues. We were in the car and she started talking about how she loved science, but no other classes.

“Science is good, RG, but you do need to do other classes too, so that you’re a ‘well-rounded’ individual.” I said.

“I just like science.” RG replied.

“What do you like about science?” I asked.

“I like dissecting frogs…seeing the blood and guts and stuff.” she said, nonchalantly.

“Oh. Well, unfortunately you can’t do that until you’re in high school, and you have to pass all the other stuff before you can get to high school. And now they don’t even dissect frogs.”

“Why not?”

“They do it on the computer.” Scott said.


“Because they thought it wasn’t very nice to kill frogs just so that you could dissect them.”

“Well that’s stupid.” *pause* “Why do you dissect them anyway?”

“So that you can learn about how the body works. But before you can dissect them you have to learn about all of that stuff anyway. Then you dissect them on the computer.”

“Oh. I like blood – especially when it’s black.”

Yeeaaah – she can be a bit scary. This conversation led into one where she proudly informed us that she was “gothic”, and that she loved black…she had a black room, and scary stuff all over her walls, like spider webs and “dead things”.

So said the girl who was wearing a red skirt and a white cutsie top. Yeaaahhh….

Basically? I don’t know if RG knows who/what she is, or who/what she likes. She tends to try to like things that those around her do, trying desperately to fit in. I get this. Yet…

I don’t think I can do this another weekend.

The entire weekend I’ve been stressed out, feeling as though I’m constantly waiting for someone/something to explode. Babygirl can’t stand RG, and says she’s “too bossy”, and Toad seems fine playing with her, but then tends to have an attitude once she goes home.

And the whole time, RG looks as though she’s miserable, even though she says she’s not. She hates sleeping downstairs in the bedroom (even though we hooked up a tv and DVD player for her to help her fall asleep…the same way she does at home…don’t get me started), and it becomes a struggle to get her to bed.

Scott seems to almost cut her a lot more slack than our other two children, and today in the car, an incident occurred that I’m still thinking about bringing up to him.

Babygirl is so proud that she can buckle herself in her new booster seat. It may take her an extra second, but it is something she’s very, very proud of. Today she was sitting next to RG in the van and she started bawling.

“RG pushed me!”

Now, granted, Babygirl was a little overtired due to the fireworks we stayed up to watch last night, but then I heard, “I didn’t mean to!”

RG had pushed Babygirl’s hand away when she was trying to buckle her own car seat. If it had been Toad, Scott would have gotten upset at Toad. Because it was RG, Scott jumps out of the van, takes Babygirl out, moves her booster seat to the back of the van, and puts Babygirl in it, removing Babygirl from the situation that RG caused, however accidentally.


Then, when he was looking at a yardsale and we stayed in the van, I heard RG say, “Babygirl’s just being really cranky today.”

“She didn’t get much sleep last night RG, and neither did you. And didn’t you push her?”

“I did so on ACCIDENT! I didn’t MEAN to!”

“I didn’t ask that RG. I asked if you pushed her. Period.”

“I didn’t MEAN to!”


“Yes. I did.”

“And wouldn’t you be upset if someone pushed you, even if it was on accident?”

She seemed to puzzle over this, and a bunch of “well…ummm…but…” sounds came out of her mouth, before she said, “no.” when I know she would be very upset, as I’ve seen her get fired up over something like that before.

So I don’t think I can do this another weekend, and I’m wondering if its a fault in myself. I have a hard time adjusting to major change, and this really messes everyone up. The only one who seems to want to do it is Scott.

*le sigh again*


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