The Beach

27 Jul
We went to the beach yesterday for the first time this year and wouldn’t you know, I forgot my camera! ARGH! It’s probably a good thing I did, though, as I was helping Babygirl and Toad learn how to swim the majority of the time, and the rest of the time I was helping Babygirl jump off of a little rock and making sure that Toad didn’t drown.

We had a good few hours there, though. The most interesting was when SIL’s boyfriend showed up. They’ve actually been together for a very long time – on and off, that is. Anyway, he’s cheated on her, she’s cheated on him, but they’ve only done it once to each other.

The boyfriend is…well…I guess you’d call him a complete and total pothead. He’s been doing it for so long that he has the attitude and memory of one. He tends to forget things fairly frequently, and has a hard time focusing on conversations sometimes. SIL blames this on the accident he had when he was little. Scott and I think that it’s more likely because he’s smoked an entire acre or two of weed in his lifetime.

Anyway, this is the first time he’s joined us without SIL. We invited them both to the beach with us, but he showed up without SIL. “She’s tired from work and didn’t want to leave the house.” he said.

We sat and ate and I brought the kiddos back into the water to play some more. I could see that Scott and the boyfriend were having a deep conversation, and then, later, I was able to join in.

Basically, the boyfriend did nothing but complain about SIL. He complained about her lack of wanting to go out anywhere with him. He complained about her lack of wanting to talk to anyone. He complained because he said she had “no friends” and that she needed to have friends to be a normal person. He complained about the fact that she thinks she has a mental illness due to her mother. He complained because he swore she was a hypochondriac.

Then he made it very, very clear that he was happy that she wasn’t with him – it gave him “more freedom” he said, as he watched a blonde/brunette/redhead (depending on the time) walk by and smirk.

The kicker, however, came when Scott and I were home and the kiddos were in bed. I’d just taken a lovely dose of painkillers (toothache + dentist on vacation = CRANKY RANDI) and was trying to have a conversation with Scott before the painkiller knocked me out. I asked him what the boyfriend and he had talked about, and he was reluctant to tell me. When I finally dragged it out of him, I got this:

“So I asked him what he would do if SIL got cancer or something, and passed away. He said that he would stay by her side until she was gone, but then he’d just find someone new.”

Okay, I know that you’ve gotta be strong when a loved one passes, but the one thing that Scott and I always tell each other is that it would be very difficult, if one of us passed away, to fill that void with someone new. We love each other and neither of us can imagine filling the void with someone else. I’m sure, if something happened, that eventually we would find someone new to care for (or not – I know some people who have never recovered from their spouse passing away), but never once have we said that we’d just find someone new.

Yet, when I asked the boyfriend earlier about whether he was happy with his relationship with SIL, his answer was, “yes – yeah – I’m happy with her. I mean, I wish she would be different…get out more, but yeah, I like our life.”

Uh huh.

Seriously, you have no idea how strange their relationship is. It makes me thank the universe for Scott every day.

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