Pulling Together a Dinner in 30 Minutes Flat

14 Aug

“Babe! I got some fresh corn! I actually went to a farmer’s market! I know, scary, right? What? You’d like me to invite SIL and her BF to dinner? Sure! Sounds great! I got a baker’s dozen, so there will be plenty of corn for everyone.”

Fast forward a few hours later.

“Umm, babe?” says Scott, who’s shucking the corn.
“What?”
“Umm, these are pretty small ears.”
“Huh?”
“As in, there’s no way this is going to feed all of us, and SIL and BF are already on their way down.”
“Oh shit.”

Do you know how some comedians are actually funnier when they have to give a comeback to some moron in the audience than they are when they’re cracking jokes? This is kinda like what happens to me when I have to pull together a meal in a jiffy.

I scoured the freezer and found the last batch of small bay scallops that I had on hand. Perfect – those would thaw quickly when the container was immersed in some room temperature water. I also had some dry angel hair pasta sitting in the cupboard. After some quick searching, I found a can of cream of mushroom soup.

I put a huge pot of water on to boil for the corn, and another pot for the pasta. After I got those to a rolling boil, I turned them down and let them simmer for a bit (because my timing’s not all that great). I then put a pan on the burner and threw a generous pat of butter on it. I added in some salt and pepper and some garlic. Then I tossed the corn in the bay scallops in the pan and let them cook while I cleaned off the table and tried to make my house look a bit more presentable than it was.

I then tossed the corn into the pot and got the pasta in the other pot, while I threw the can of mushroom soup (which I’d mixed with about a half a can of milk) into the pan of scallops and simmering butter. I mixed the butter into the rest of the mixture and got the table set. At this time, SIL and BF were gracing us with their presence, giving me a few minutes to toss everything in a nice dish and to get the kiddos settled with their plain noodles.

Oh my fucking god.

That sauce was absolutely DELICIOUS! Even the BF, who may be a moron but who has eaten out enough with his rich family to know what good food tastes like, was all, “How did you do this!?”

I may not be a culinary genius, but I can throw together a meal in under 30 minutes that would make almost anyone happy!

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One Response to “Pulling Together a Dinner in 30 Minutes Flat”

  1. PinkPiddyPaws August 14, 2008 at 6:02 pm #

    Well aren’t you just going to give Rachel fucking Ray a run for her money? hee..hee..

    When’s dinner? I’m STARVING!!

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