9 Sep

My back aches. My neck aches. Basically, I feel like someone let Mike Tysen into my house to pummel on my body while I was sleeping last night. Why do I feel this way? Because I wasn’t able to turn and move last night during bed.

Why not? Because Scott and I went to bed upset at each other.

Since we’ve been together, one of the rules we’ve had is that we try not to go to bed angry with each other. Usually any fight we have works itself out by bedtime, or we stay up until ungodly hours to try to stop the fighting. Last night, however, was an exception.

I was in bed while Scott was on the computer and I was trying to explain to him why I was upset. His response? Let me paraphrase:

“I think you’re being unreasonable in wanting the kids to apologize. They’re kids and they’re supposed to take their mother for granted.”

See, I was a bit upset that Scott hadn’t explained to the kids why I was upset last night (because I was too upset to) and that he hadn’t asked the kids to apologize to me for misbehaving last night at supper.

Scott feels differently. He remarks on how he always took his mother for granted and didn’t appreciate her until he was a lot older, and how that’s what all children do. I agree…to a point.

I’m not looking for the kids to thank me for every little thing I do. I know that my role as a mom means that I get to be taken for granted, and I’m fine with that – however, when a situation like last night occurs, where the kids don’t make an effort to eat and generally make supper unenjoyable for everyone, I would like an apology. I would have loved Toad or Babygirl to come over to me and to say, “Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t really try my dinner.”

“You’re mad because the kids didn’t meet your expectations at dinner time.” Scott said.

“It’s not like I set the expectations high! I don’t expect them to gobble down everything I make – I try to make foods that aren’t too disgusting and that are things they’ll both eat. All I want is for all of us to sit down, eat our meal and talk about our day. I don’t want to have to argue with the kids to eat every two minutes or try to keep Babygirl in her chair constantly.”

Apparently that pissed Scott off and he refused to talk to me. Then I reared up and turned back at him. “You’re one to talk! The reason you jumped down Toad’s throat tonight was because he didn’t meet YOUR expectations! He changed his mind and wouldn’t stick to one decision, which is what you wanted, and so you yelled at him.”

“No – did you hear what he was saying? It had nothing to do with that.”

“Yes. It did. You’re being such a hypocrit!”

“Say whatever you want, Ran, I’m not getting into it.”

He then chose to bring in the silent treatment and so I rolled over and went to sleep. Even in sleep my body knew I was upset with Scott, as it never once turned to him in the night as I usually do. Which is why my back and neck are killing me.


3 Responses to “Achy”

  1. PinkPiddyPaws September 9, 2008 at 12:56 pm #

    Oh Randi!
    You guys have been doing SO good lately. Why now? Why this fight? Why this topic? Hmmmmm….?? Talk it out, work it out, fix it.. be happy together! Life is too short to spend it upset and angry with the man you love and the children that you adore.


  2. Finn September 9, 2008 at 3:58 pm #

    Sorry Scott, you’re wrong. Your job as a parent is to teach your kids respect, and to own up to their mistakes and apologize when necessary. I make Lil’ M apologize to Mister when he does something to upset his father.

    That being said, I read your previous post and think you screwed up by taking Toad the milk. Why? Because you have to present a united front to the kids. You have to back each other up (unless it’s dangerous or something). You can’t undermine each other. Even it it’s a stupid thing.

    Let things calm down and then explain to Scott that you work hard and it hurts your feelings when it’s not appreciated. And that the kids need to learn table manners and that you don’t run a restaurant and some days they’ll love supper and others they won’t. Deal with it.


  3. Heidi September 11, 2008 at 3:59 am #

    I think asking for respect is not asking for too much. Even though you make dinner, you do it because you love them and want them to have a good meal. Having them try it and emit a small thank you is expected. It is just being respectful of your work for them. And having your husband back you up would be nice too. hugs!

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