Forbidden Wednesday – Miracle Massager Attachment

10 Sep

Every Wednesday I will be reviewing sex toys from the fabulous VibeReview! You can find this sex toy, along with tons of other great ones, at their website.

Have I ever told you that I’m not really an accessories girl? When it comes to jewelry, I’ve got my wedding/engagement ring (on a bizarre side note, why does the engagement ring always outshine the wedding ring? It’s like saying that the thought of getting married is better than the deed…weird.) and a few earrings that I may put in if I’m required to go somewhere fancy or am trying to seduce my husband without being obvious about it (he has a huge thing for big old gypsy hoops), but in the jewelry department, that’s about it. And here’s where I get my official Woman’s Club Card revoked – I have one purse and I hardly ever use it. So when it comes to accessories, I’m a complete dunce.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Alton Brown on the cooking channel it’s that you should never buy a piece of equipment that only does one thing. Have you ever watched his show? He constantly has little gadgets that can not only fry your egg but that can chop up onions and give you a new hairdo while it’s creating ice. Okay, so maybe it can’t do all that, but the tools that he uses can all do more than one thing. Why, then, can’t a vibrator do more than one thing?

Remember a month or so ago when I did a review for the Miracle Massager? That wonderful, heels thumping the mattress, eyes rolling into the back of your head plug-in massager? Yes, that massager? Well guess what? It has an attachment! The Miracle Massager is not only great for external stimulation (and for driving you husband absolutely crazy if used in the right way), it’s also good for internal stimulation!

Say hello to the Miracle Massager Attachment. Okay, seriously, why didn’t they give this attachment its own little name? I mean it’s so unique looking you could name it something like, “the Miracle Massager Thumb Attachment”, or, “the Miracle Massager OMG-HOLY-SHIT” attachment – either would work.

This little PVC attachment goes right onto the head of the Miracle Massager. I’ve got to say, I just assumed that it would slip right on, but if it did it would fall off pretty easily. Instead, Scott and I had to spend a few minutes the first time working the attachment on. It’s gotten easier to put on as time has gone on, however, but that first time was kind of annoying. The attachment then works to not only “massage” your g-spot, but also has an external nub to hit your clitoris. But does it work?

I’m not sure. What – I’m serious! I’m not sure because every time I’ve tried to use it I’ve had to shut it off because it was too intense. Seriously! Apparently I’m more sensitive than I believed because all of the times I’ve tried this toy have wound up with me backing away in fear due to the intense vibrations that are caused all the way through/inside your body.

Now here’s where I tell you that the next time I have a few drinks (which will probably be this weekend due to the wedding we’re attending), I’m going to pull this baby out again. I’m going to have it already attached to the massager and I’m going to give it a go again, because I know that once I relax more into it and get used to the rhythm, this little baby is going to give me such an intense orgasm that I will realize I’ve finally found a sex toy that will replace my husband.

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