Blame It On The Hormones

19 Nov

Am I the only woman who ever wonders how her partner’s ex’s stacked up in bed?

I have…issues…in the bedroom. Sometimes its good, and when its good its REALLY good. Other times it’s not so good. It’s ALWAYS good, however, for Scott. From what I’ve managed to pull out of him over the course of 9 years (GOD that still shocks me sometimes), his previous partners never had anything to complain about.

I, however, feel some days like I have nothing but complaints when it comes to certain aspects of our marriage. I hate that. I hate feeling that way.

Sometimes I turn around and say that our lack of successful intimacy (boy is that a mouthful) is his fault. That he should be a God in the sack or something. That he should be responsible for making us both feel good.

Then I remember that his previous partners never had a problem and realize that the problem is me. No matter how I try to relax, or what I try, I seem to constantly get into a rut.

What happened to having a sexual life like they do on the movies on in the books – an intimate life where you, more often than not, burn each other up when you walk into the bedroom? Where you enjoy your encounter every single time, even if you don’t reach the ultimate destination?

I’m laying the blame on my doorstep. I have to. Obviously Scott’s had no complaints before, and I can’t seem to find enjoyment every time.

Or am I alone in this?

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8 Responses to “Blame It On The Hormones”

  1. PinkPiddyPaws November 19, 2008 at 4:37 pm #

    Okay:
    #1) NEVER trust a man’s opinion on what his previous lover’s thought/felt/experienced. DUH! The only way to know that is to go to them, not him. Like HE is going to say anything bad about his own sexual prowess. ha..ha.ha..

    #2) Romance novels are responsible for ruining sex for a lot of women. They set unrealistic expectations and describe situations that are usually not only physically impossible unless you are screwing Rubber Man but they set women up to expect “blood heated like molten lava” and “whirling vortex’s of pleasure” PUH-LEEZ. I’m a simple woman and I’m happy with “AN” orgasm. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #3) You are still not happy with yourself and that bleeds over into every other aspect of your life. Especially your sex life –because it focuses on the biggie — you being nekkid.

    You and only you can fix that girlie.
    But this whole “Comparison thing” is a crock. Who gives a crap about Scott’s previous lovers. YOU are the one he’s with, that he wants to be with, that he chooses to be with and THAT is all that matters.

    Mwah!!!

  2. Anonymous November 19, 2008 at 5:07 pm #

    You’re not the only one who wonders about past partners, but it’s not helpful to over-analyze this stuff. He’s with YOU now and apparently happy, right? But: What’s going on when you’re not finding enjoyment? Not really in the mood but doing it anyway? Too tired or stressed out about something? Has it become routine? Just some thoughts.

  3. Jenera November 19, 2008 at 5:54 pm #

    I have wondered, especially about one in particular. I have also asked my hubby about past partners. He’s brutally honest and told me if certain ones were better at certain things. Like his last ex was really good at oral sex where I’m still a novice.

    But I have had only one partner besides him in my life and he knows I’m not a porn star. But he has told me the difference is that he loves me in a way that makes the sex better every time.

  4. Mistress November 19, 2008 at 6:44 pm #

    strippers, porn, and romance novels are FAKE.

    they do that for imagination and to heat things up… After all that is why you read it, Right?

    Like the first comment said, Never trust what a man says about his ex’s. Have you spoken to them? Perhaps they didn’t tell him the truth! HA!

    Also, before I had kids i was a size 3 with a nice rack and all around a nice piece of arm candy. Now that i have had 2 kids and some weight gain and so on i do not feel so hot. I think that has a lot to do with it. I am sure that the average “joe or jane” has sex more than I don’t cave it. Not that it is bad. When the deed is done it is GREAT! Enough to last me a while.

    We are all different. I am most certain my husband had never been with someone like me, and it took a lot of work for him to be able to please me the right way but mostly i took that department in my hands or i knew that i was never going to be happy.

    Do not for once ever compare yourself to another woman, porn star or not, romance novel or anything. You are you. Expect the best you have had with him. Not what you see in the books.

    The sex industry does a wonderful job of hyping up sex. Make it the best for YOU not what YOU have seen.

    Good luck

  5. JM November 19, 2008 at 10:51 pm #

    Since when is sex good every time? Since when does every couple burn each other up?

    I used to have this fantasy of me and my man nearly ripping each other’s clothes off, but it never happened. I was disappointed about it until I realized that sort of thing just isn’t our way. Thus it stays in fantasy land. No biggie.

    I think you’re overthinking. All this thinking about how you have problems is just making everything worse. Comparing yourself to his past lovers doesn’t help either.

    You could always take yourself to a sex therapist.

  6. Harvey Irene November 28, 2008 at 7:04 am #

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  7. ben December 4, 2008 at 2:02 am #

    Yeah, what THEY said.

    1) If his past lovers didn’t hit the moon every time, do you think he even knew? Or would tell you if he did? We all like to remember things in the best possible light.

    2) You are not alone in wondering. I wonder, too, and we have been together for 25 years. Shit, I feel old just writing that. But yeah, I wonder what it was like for her back then (teenagers, and I kinda hope it was awkward for them, tee hee)

    3) The best thing is to get comfortable with yourself, something easier said than done. And I’m lousy at following my own advice ๐Ÿ™‚

    Just keep swimming…

  8. Eve November 10, 2009 at 8:27 pm #

    Thanks for this cool informations.

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