And I Get Laid Every Time

13 Jan

Last night I got the opportunity once again to speak with the wonderful Kitteh. She had put a message up on her Facebook about having to ditch a date and so we started talking. She decided it would be easiest to explain over the phone – and I’m really glad she called.

When you’re married to someone for a long amount of time (6 years or marriage and 9 years together may not be long when you’ve been together 50 years, but right NOW it seems really long!) you often romanticize about the dating scene. You reminisce about the first dates you went on and about how lovely it would be to be able to meet someone for a date again. How it’d be nice to go out somewhere and to do something fun with someone you know very little about. And, more importantly, what it will be like the first time you kiss and if any sparks will fly the first time you make love.

I’ve been watching Kitty’s dating life for some time now, and while I laugh over the mishaps, I can’t help but stop and feel sad for her. All she’s looking for is someone to treat her the way every woman deserves to be treated. A man who can share the quiet alone time with her. One who will put their arms around her at night and keep her warm and secure. A man who is interested in meshing the rest of his life with the rest of hers.

So far all she’s found are men who are trying to get a piece, men who are into her but not ready to commit, men who promise to call but don’t for whatever reason, and men who start going all Hulk at the bowling alley for no good reason.

In short, she hasn’t found what she’s looking for.

Unlike most women that I know, Kitty is a strong, independant woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. She not only is fine living on her own, she can thrive. She isn’t looking for a companion so that she can feel “okay” with herself, but simply because she’s been alone for a long time and she’s tired of it. She wants a relationship for the right reasons.

It’s then that I realize that all of the dating fantasies that I have are just that – fantasies. Sure, occasionally I get really mad at Scott and think “damn – it’d be nice to be divorced because then I could start dating and find someone else.” When I think that, though, I’m really thinking more about the little thrills that you get when you first meet someone and when you first get to know them, not about the process that you have to go through to GET to that point. The process that Kitty’s going through right now.

Last night she told me to make sure that I gave Scott a huge hug and kiss and to never, EVER divorce him. I did give him a kiss and a huge hug and then laid in his arms a few moments luxuriating in the warmth of his body.

When you’re with someone for so long you tend to take your partner for granted. You lose sight of the times that he rubs your feet at night, or of the times that he takes care of the kids so that you can go take a long, hot, de-stressing shower, and focus instead on missing those little thrills that dating can bring.

The truth is, though, that you can still get those same little thrills every day, if you look for them. They’re there, hidden under the feeling of normalcy and under the rush of everyday life. You don’t have to wonder what it will be like when you make love, or how that first kiss will effect you, because you can make every kiss like a first kiss, and you can be assured that you will get laid every time (or almost every time) that you’d like to.


One Response to “And I Get Laid Every Time”

  1. Finn January 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm #

    This is so absolutely true.

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