Oh My Fucking God

17 Jan

A few months ago the wonderful Kitty submitted herself to be reviewed by a blog that I’d never heard of – Ask And Ye Shall Receive. I loved their reviews and the wit and decided – what the hell – I love emotionally slicing and dicing myself, I may as well submit my site for review, right?

So I hit the submit button but never heard from anyone that my submission had been received. After three months, I figured that I wouldn’t be reviewed. Ah well, no skin off my teeth. Then, I moved.

It’s like when you wait for your food for an hour and then, the minute you go to the bathroom to relieve your straining bladder, the food comes.

They came.

And they weren’t friendly.

She made a few very valid points – the template I was using here was fucking ugly. Good point! It’s now down. I was trying to find the widest template so that I could get bigger pictures, but we’ll try some other templates as well.

I used the term “down there” when I was doing sex toy reviews. I was actually contractually obligated to use “friendly” terms – meaning I couldn’t say things like: pussy, cunt, poontang, clit slit, serpent socket, fun hatch, cock magnet, dick mitten, salami garage, breakfast of champions, vadge, meat massager, tongue depressor, pink taco, fur burger, fuckhole, cum craver, mud flaps, pole magnet, moneymaker, or cock holster.

She was also right that I’ve been far, far too tame lately. What happened to the times when I used to piss off the breastfeeding nazi’s? And Again? And More? And the disgusting breastfeeding video that shocked me? Yeah – it went on and on. I learned one thing during that debate: you can not win against breastfeeding nazi’s. It’s like the breastmilk has spoiled their brains and they no longer think rationally.

I think I was being tame for a number of reasons. The biggest one is that I know now that many friends and family members are actually reading the blog. I no longer have the ability to hide online as I used to, and I’m worrying far too much about making others upset. That was the whole reason I moved to WordPress – so that I could password protect posts which would make friends/relatives unhappy. So I’m going to start doing that, and letting my true feelings out, including those that explain how I feel about sex (ha) and how I feel about some of my relatives (ha ha ha ha ha!) because even though I want to say whatever I want to say, I don’t want to be a dick (or pecker, or cock, or one-eyed-jack, or weiner, or johnson, or peter, or purple headed warrior, or meat sausage) about it.

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3 Responses to “Oh My Fucking God”

  1. Sarena January 18, 2009 at 4:45 am #

    I gotta say-thought the review was a little harsh! I like that you post often-I actually feel like I get to know a little bit about you-doesn’t feel like it was designed to be controversial like some other blogs I have read. I was wondering what happened to the toy reviews-seems to have been a while-but figured sometimes life gets in the way. I will keep reading no matter what you do.

  2. scootersbabygirl January 18, 2009 at 5:57 pm #

    Sarena – that was so nice of you!! Awww – thanks!!!

  3. Jennifer Nguyen January 30, 2009 at 1:51 am #

    I read her review… But I love your writing…. I am not into “toys” so I didn’t read those… Who cares…

    PC America sucks!!! lets face it!!! lol

    rant on!!!!

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