The Anti Diet

26 Jan

Whenever you husband walks into the house and yells up the stairs “I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news”, you know it’s never good.

In this case, the news was about his job. Thankfully, he’s not fired yet, nor is the manufacturing plant he’s working for closing, but they are shutting down for two weeks next month and for two weeks in March.

Do you know what that means? That means I’m stuck, in the house, with my husband for a total of a month over the next two months.

I remember when our relationship was new – at that point, if you had told me that I would be able to spend a months worth of time with my husband, I would have jumped for joy and looked forward to it.

Now I am only looking forward to the fact that he still technically has a job.

It’s alright – I got even with him when he got home. I had just received information for the study that I’m heading for Chicago for next week. Starting on Monday, I have to go on a diet – not just any diet, the “Anti-Diet”, at least that’s what I’m calling it.

Step #1: I am FORBIDDEN from doing any aerobic exercise. This means that if it snows, I am not allowed to shovel. Can you see that I’m liking this diet so far?

Step #2: I am REQUIRED to eat at least 300 grams of carbs PER DAY. They even sent me a sample diet to give me an idea of how much 400 grams of carbs is. Dude, I NEVER eat that much. Want a sample? I’ll show you –


8 oz orange juice
8 oz milk
3/4 cup cereal
2 tbsp sugar
2 slices of toast
1 tbsp jam or jelly

Breakfast? I love breakfast, but I NEVER eat that much – probably because I know that if I do, my sugar and insulin will reenact the Battle of Gettysburg in my body. The rest of the diet is heavy on foods with good carbs in them, such as breads and starches, but the truth of the matter is that even though I look like I’m a whale, I simply don’t eat that much! Getting myself to eat 300 grams of carbs PER DAY is going to be a bit of a stretch.

Maybe I’ll just stock up on Milky Ways.


One Response to “The Anti Diet”

  1. Finn January 27, 2009 at 5:03 pm #

    Interesting… I’m curious as to why they want you to carb up…

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