Transformers 2? Sucks Donkey Dick

6 Jul

transformers2

Now keep in mind: I haven’t actually seen the movie yet.

How, then, do I know that it sucks? First of all I’ve read tons of reviews of real Transformer fans.

Yes, I mean the fans who have watched the cartoon and who LOVED IT as a child growing up. I mean the fans who know all of the Transformers by name. I mean the fans who have even contemplated getting a tattoo of the logos. (Yes, Scott wants 2 tattoos – one for the Autobots and one for the Decepticons).

We watched the first movie and left the theater with our mouths hanging down. How could Hollywood, or rather Michael Bay, call this a Transformers movie? The only thing good about it was that Optimus Prime’s voice was the same. That. Was. It.

So we had no plans on seeing the second one.

One of my best friends, Danni, however, did see it. She’s a true Transformers fan and had this to say:

MICHAEL BAY-I HATE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD HEROES.I HATE THAT I WASTED FIVE DOLLARS TO SEE YOUR MOVIE-THE MONEY I SPENT ON THE POPCORN AND CANDY WAS SO WORTH IT OVER YOUR PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE.YOU DRAGGED OUT IN TWO IN A HALF HOURS WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE IN 90 MINUTES. NOTHING MADE SENSE, IT WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND YOUR FACTS WERE ALL WRONG REGARDING…EVERYTHING! THE KID YOU NAMED SAM IS SUPPOSED TO BE SPIKE SHITHEAD! HIS FATHER’S NAME IS SPARK PLUG AND THEY WORK AT A GARAGE.YOUR TAKE ON HOW THEY CAME ABOUT, THEIR HISTORY, THE CYBERTONIUM, THE ALL SPARK IS ALL WRONG! BUMBLEBEE IS NOT WHAT YOU MADE HIM TO BE – NEITHER IS IRONHIDE, OR SOUNDWAVE OR MOST OF THE TRANSFORMERS! SOUNDWAVE IS A RADIO DUDE NOT A SATELLITE IN SPACE! AND PEOPLE CAN BE TRANSFORMERS TOO? WRONG, WRONG, WRONG DUDE! I THINK YOU WATCHED AND “BORROWED” A LITTLE TOO MUCH TERMINATOR MOVIES TO PULL THAT TRICK OUT OF YOUR ASS. I COULD KEEP GOING HERE BUT YOU GET THE POINT. MICHAEL BAY…I HATE YOU DUDE. DO NOT MESS WITH A DIE HARD TRANSFORMERS FAN MAN! I KNOW IN YOUR BIG WORLD, MY THOUGHTS ON YOU WANE FASTER THAN YOU CAN REMEMBER THEM BUT I TOO CAN GET MY MAN ON AND LET MY PENIS SHOW. WHAT’S NEXT? ARE YOU GOING TO REMAKE BENJI AND MAKE HIM AN ACTION HERO BAD ASS? WHAT THE HELL MAN. MAKE IT STOP ALREADY!

Yes it was all written in caps like that. That’s how strongly she hates the movie. Why did she go to see it then?

…wasted my money on seeing the second one because my husband doesn’t like doing things by himself (pansy)

Will I watch the movie? Nope. Not on my radar.

But I’m sorry poor Danni had to sit through it! I think her hubby owes her a trip to the theater for the movie of her choice. Preferably something that’s labeled as a “chick flick”.

But, to be fair, he did go with us to the NKOTB concert…it takes a real man to sit through that.

Sorry Danni, I think you’re even now!

Luv ya!

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