10 Aug

Wedding, originally uploaded by scootersbabygirl.

On August 1st I learned WHY wedding photographers charge so much money. Oh. My. God. I ran my ass off. I was running here, there, everywhere in order to get photos that would remind the bride and groom of their wedding day.

Like the wedding contract and the rings weren’t enough, right?

I’m still in the editing process, but I will be done this week. And then the nervewracking part comes in – then I put them online and see what the bride and groom think of them. I’m hoping that they enjoy them. I’m thinking that they will, but you never know. They could think that it was a horrible investment (even though I charge very little) and they could wonder why they let a freak like me run around making people look cheesy at their wedding.

Or they could love them. Who knows.

This week marks a very difficult week for me. My birthday is on Saturday. I turn 30 then. I’ve never been a great one for birthdays. When I was younger my mom tried her best to make sure that I had great birthdays, and usually she succeeded. And then, as I got older, people seemed to no longer care about my birthday. No one really celebrated it anymore.

Once I had children, it completely ceased to exist. Scott’s take on birthdays was that “it’s just another day”, and a number of times he even forgot to celebrate it, including one time where he didn’t even get me a birthday cake.

I could always count on my gram – she’d call every morning and sing “happy birthday to you”. My cousin still has a message of my gram calling her on her birthday and singing it, and it’s something I wish I had. It’s a beautiful thing to hear her voice, especially on your birthday.

Anyway, this year I’m turning 30. THREE ZERO people. It’s making me realize that I’m getting OLD!! I took the advice of some friends and came straight out telling Scott exactly what I wanted. I told him that:

1. I wanted a party with all of my friends/family invited to have fun. Backyard BBQ style was absolutely fine.

2. I wanted a night away with him somewhere nice.

To the first one he replied: “you’ve got, like, 4 friends.”

Nice, no?

I’ve been trying to avoid anything to do with my birthday but last week I asked two of my closest friends if they’d heard anything. Both denied it. And I let them BOTH know how much I REALLY needed to know if something was planned. Again, both said that “no, they hadn’t been invited to anything,” and the kicker? They were sorry that they hadn’t been and both had wondered if they were just being excluded from some party plan.

I asked my sister-in-law last night (who is a very close friend of mine) if she knew if anything was up. Her response?

“Well…I have to give it to him. He’s TRIED to do something. He did work his ass off. But it just didn’t pull together.”

Your guess is as good as mine as to what that means. I have no idea.

I’m guessing that he did the whole “night away with your spouse” thing, and not the party thing. And while I’d really like a night away with Scott, I also really wanted to celebrate with everyone. I haven’t celebrated my birthday in a big way since I was 16. Even when I was 21 I didn’t get to go out and party because I was pregnant with Toad, so I was really hoping for a big party with everyone there.

Which I’m guessing? Isn’t happening.

I’m really tempted to book a hotel room in Maine and stay up there by the beach for the weekend. At least then I’d know that I was enjoying myself and not being disappointed, right?

And yes, I know it sounds selfish to want to have my birthday done my way, and I should be grateful for WHATEVER he does. I’m harder on me than you could ever be.

Edited to add: Like an idiot I decided to go into my files here and double check that my birthday really have sucked as much as I remember them sucking, and that it wasn’t a faulty memory that was to blame.

In 2007 we’ve got the Pity Party Post, and then the post directly after which says what happened.

And 2006 gets the award for the Worst Birthday Ever.

And to be fair and to prove that I’m easy to make happy, 2008’s birthday which was considered by me to be the Best Birthday Ever.


One Response to “Wedding”

  1. Tracey August 10, 2009 at 7:47 pm #

    I get to deal with this in December…December 30th I’ll be 30. Notice the day! DAY BEFORE NYE and no one wants to go out the night before knowing they’ll be out the next night too. I said I wanted my party to be at Incredible Pizza lol! Still wondering if anyone is listening to me.

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