Interesting Birthday

16 Aug

I will say that yesterday went better than I thought it would. Scott has been running around doing errands all week, and yesterday he came home around 11 am and made me put a blindfold on, and then he drove the kids and I around in circles (literally) to try to confuse me as to where we were going. It worked – I had absolutely NO idea where we were. Turned out were wound up at a local lake where he had rented the pavillion for my birthday party! It was very sweet of him – he and my sister-in-law and her fiance had worked their tushies off to get hamburgers, hot dogs, and side dishes together. They’d bought a crapload of my favorite wine and a few members of my family had come to celebrate.

But as with the brightness, there is always some darkness.

I don’t have many friends who live around here – two are within easy driving distance and both I consider dear friends. Neither made it to the party. Both had said that they would stop by, but neither made, it. And even though I continued to look for them down the drive, thinking that maybe, just maybe, they’d show up at the end of the day to come give me a huge hug and to have a glass of wine with me, no one did. I felt horrible – Scott and my SIL had made tons of food, and only a fraction of it was eaten, because he had invited far more people, and only a few came.

I have another friend who about ten hours away, and she called telling me that she had wanted to come but was unable to. I would NEVER ask a friend to drive 10 hours just to celebrate my birthday, and I really appreciated the fact that she called and told me how much she was thinking about me and how she wanted to be here.

And my mother. Oh, my mother. Instead of coming to her only child’s birthday party, my mother made the decision to go to Maine to celebrate someone else’s birthday. Whose birthday? A woman who rides motorcycles with their “gang” occasionally. Oh, she did send flowers to the pavillion, so I guess that I should be grateful of that, but somehow I’m not.

I’m very sad and disappointed that my mother made the decision that she did. It was her decision to make, and I can’t change that, but that doesn’t mean that I have to accept it. Somehow I can’t see myself ever intentionally being far away from my children on their birthdays, even when they are adults. Granted, if they move to California and I’m still in Vermont I might not be able to be physically with them all the time, but if they lived as close as my mother and I do, it wouldn’t be a question.

So while I did appreciate being able to spend some time with a few members of my family, and I GREATLY appreciated everything that Scott and my SIL did to help celebrate my birthday, I am very disappointed. I feel very alone and abandoned by my friends and my mother.

I guess the party showed me who is truly important in my life.

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One Response to “Interesting Birthday”

  1. Jenera August 17, 2009 at 2:14 am #

    ::Hugs:: I’m sorry! I ended up hanging out with friends this weekend. But I didn’t get calls from the folks I expected for my birthday OR my anniversary. It’s OK to be disappointed but just remember the ones that did show and put forth so much effort. Your hubby is awesome for coordinating anything!

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