Very, Very Fine House

3 Sep

It’s really difficult to explain what our house is like to people who have never been in it. It generally comes out like this:

“Well, it’s a single family home that was, at one point, turned into a duplex by an idiot. And then another idiot decided to turn it back into a single family home, so it’s kind of like a duplex masquerading as a single family home, only not…”

And here I’m one who makes her living explaining things and writing. Nice, huh?

When we received the appraisal the other day for our home, I thought it would be the ideal opportunity to try to get someone else to help me explain what my house is!

Here’s the floor where you enter the house, coming in (generally) through the garage.


The main entrance is through the garage, but there’s another entrance as well where the stairs are, so sort of half-way between the floors. We’ve never gotten the path there yet, however, so the garage is where most people com in. All of the red lines are where the appraiser messed up. See that? She missed an entire room! It’s kind of a hard room to find – it’s hidden behind the spare bedroom and the only access is through what she labeled as a family room. That family room has been many things, from a pool room to a living room to a workout room. Right now it’s more like a “store the workout and scrapbooking crap down there” room. Eventually? It’ll be a kick-ass movie room so that we can send the kids down there whenever we want them to stop annoying us.

And then? You head upstairs!


She labeled this as the first floor, which is wrong (sort of) because technically it’s the second floor – but it’s on the ground level in the back and the second floor in the front. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

This is the main floor that we live on. Our bedrooms are up here (although I keep telling Toad that when he becomes an obnoxious teenager, I’m shipping him downstairs), and the kitchen/living/dining/ect.

The appraiser also messed up the closets – there is no closet where she said there was, which is totally interesting to me. Maybe there’s a secret hidden closet that I haven’t found yet? Hmmm…

And then there’s the deck. That deck? Should hopefully be screened in in the next few months, because we got the refinance!


We’ve been trying to get this refinance half the summer, and due to Scott’s erratic work schedule, it’s been hell trying to get them to realize that yes, we will pay our mortgage loan, the same way that we’ve paid it on time all the time for the last SEVEN YEARS. But finally, after jumping through a few flaming hoops, we’ve been granted the refinance.

A person will be here next week to sign, and then within a week after that, we’ll have a bit old fatty check in our hands so that we can redo the roof, screen in the porch (MY DREAM), and pay off the credit cards – after which we’ll totally shred them so that we’re never tempted again.

Although I may hide one for emergency occasions. You know, because buying a new handbag? Totally an emergency, right?

Now we’re on the hunt for a contractor to do the house (and someone to do the chimney as well, apparently), and just like our arguing about Elvis and the Beatles, we’re bickering a bit about this as well. I’ve got a few people in mind that he doesn’t care for, and I REFUSE to use the guy he wants (in my defense, everyone I’ve spoken to says not to use the guy he wants).

So how would you describe our house?


One Response to “Very, Very Fine House”

  1. Tracey September 3, 2009 at 5:39 pm #

    Leaned up next to a Hill?? We have those here. One side looks two story other side looks like one.

    I say make kick ass movie room into future teenager hide away…OH maybe mom’s hideout!!

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