Lack O Nookie

15 Oct

Makes Randi a very self-conscious woman.

Scott’s been working tons of overtime lately, which is a good thing money wise. The bigger problem, however, is that he has been having to get up extremely early. He’s working from 6 AM until 3:30 PM. And because my husband likes to actually get to work early (he’s sick, I tell you, sick!), he’s been waking up at 5 am, which means he’s been crashing a bit after 10 PM.

“But”, you say, “if both kids are in bed and asleep by 8, that gives you two hours to get together, right?”

In theory, absolutely. There are, however, two problems with this.

1. He’s been working on his website in the evenings. Scott runs a WWE blog and he’s been doing lots of work on that in the evenings, as we’ve made a rule in the house that unless it’s an absolute necessity, we do not touch the computers from the time that the kids come home until after they’re in bed, so that we can spend some quality time with them.

2. After he does that, he watches TV. We have a few shows that we watch – Heroes, House, Fringe, Mythbusters – those are the basic ones. And after he’s done working he wants to either take a shower or sit on the couch and watch a bit of TV. I can’t blame him – it’s a nice way to wind down after a long day. The television watching, however, makes him fall asleep, and while I definitely think he needs sleep, this has caused a side effect that I hate.

SERIOUS self-esteem issues.

We talked yesterday about how important we think sex is in a relationship. Both of us agreed that it was at least 25% of a relationship. In my case, because I have always had a hard time with self-esteem, when Scott doesn’t want to be with me in a sexual way, it makes me feel even worse.

I know he loves me. I know he’ll always be with me. But sometimes I worry that he sticks with me because of the family we’ve built and because he’s content rather than because he wants to get his hands on me and all over me.

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3 Responses to “Lack O Nookie”

  1. Finn October 15, 2009 at 4:12 pm #

    Life takes it’s toll. You have to make time. Maybe turn off the TV. Maybe cuddle a bit and talk and see what happens.

    Don’t let your self-esteem get wrapped up in this. It has nothing to do with YOU. It’s very common after you’ve been married for a while and especially when you have kids.

    And, for the record, just because someone wants to have sex with you doesn’t mean anything except they want to have sex with you. It has nothing to do with your worth, good or bad. (I’m not talking about Scott, of course, but in general).

    You need to work on your self-esteem independently from your marriage. You need to believe in you no matter who else does or doesn’t. You cannot get self-esteem from somebody else. Ever. It has to come from inside you.

    /lecture

  2. Jenera October 15, 2009 at 7:19 pm #

    I’m sure you’ve heard the whole “this is life, it gets busy, it’s not you” talk and you know in your head it’s true but we also know the head can be stupid sometimes.

    I think you really need to say that you get a quickie no matter what after the kids are asleep. Then he can go back to what he needs to do.

    Daniel is gone alot and sometimes he is only home for 12 hours before going back out again. And it may have been more than a week since our last sex session. don’t you know we put those kids down for a nap and get to it. It may only last two minutes but we make the time.

    You don’t have to set aside an entire night but if it is important to you, then ask for a quickie. Sure we’d all like good long love making sessions but life doesn’t allow it and you have to make time.

    For us, I’m happy to get a few minutes once a week even if he is dead on his feet.

  3. Briana November 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm #

    Well my hubby and I just had sex for the first time since we conceived. That was 10 weeks ago. Being pregnant and hormonal, and feeling on the unattractive side I understand. My husband is hot. Most women think so, many guys think so LOL. I don’t get anywhere the nookie that I want. I am lucky if once a month happens. Just don’t let it get you down. It will be okay. Things will even out with Scott working the extra shifts and stuff. It will get better….

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