A Unique Situation

2 Dec

I haven’t talked much about foster care because we haven’t done much for awhile. I’ve been going through a rough time (obviously) and haven’t been in the right place to even do foster care. That why, when DCF called last Wednesday, I was tempted to not even pick up the phone. I may actually be glad I did.

The situation is like none I’ve ever taken on before. There is a baby who isn’t quite a year old yet, and his father who is a few years away from being legal drinking age. DCF has custody of the baby (henceforth to be called Baby) because of bad decisions on the mother’s part. Baby has been in custody for 7 months and the foster family had hopes on adopting.

Baby Daddy, however, really wants to have custody of his son, even though he lives about 1500 miles away from here. The way the social worker put it was that they wanted him and Baby to stay with us for a week to ten days in order to let the two bond and to see if Baby Daddy really is capable of taking care of Baby. She sounded very much like she was hoping that Baby Daddy wouldn’t be capable.

I called Scott. I hemmed. I hawed. I said yes. So on Monday afternoon Baby Daddy and Baby came to stay with us for awhile. One of the reasons why I think they thought of us is because we have a whole downstairs area that’s like a mini-apartment, sans kitchen, which is perfect for someone who wants to live down there.

I have to say that before they got here, I was a bit against Baby Daddy – I was thinking more about the foster family. DCF asked that we not take over care of Baby, and just advise Baby Daddy.

Monday night Baby Daddy was CONFIDENT that he could get Baby down to sleep easily. I smiled a little smile and simply nodded.

Two hours later, Baby was still screaming. To give Baby Daddy credit, he stuck it through. Scott went down once to give him encouragement, and I went down once as well. When I went down I immediately felt pulled to Baby, who was also pulled to me. He wanted me to put him to sleep, and demonstrated this by immediately putting out his arms to me. I resisted and gave Baby Daddy some good advice, which basically was that babies are like animals and can sense when you’re upset/frustrated/ect.

He said, “well, I am, but I’m not showing it.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I replied, “He knows.”

He took the advice to heart, calmed down, and had the baby to sleep in 10 minutes.

At first I was a bit prejudiced towards the foster family, being a foster parent myself. Now, however, I see all of the hoops that Baby Daddy has jumped through and I can’t help but be rooting for him a bit. So I’m torn – I see that Baby would be good in both situations. Which is better, I guess, than him not being good in any situation.


3 Responses to “A Unique Situation”

  1. Finn December 2, 2009 at 3:57 pm #

    I’m thrilled that he’s being given a chance. The fact that he really wants to take care of Baby is wonderful, especially since he can just walk away.

    I’m glad that you’re there to guide him. I’m rooting for Baby!

  2. Jenera December 2, 2009 at 10:05 pm #

    Without knowing all the story I think it is fantastic that this father is willing to do so much to try and have his baby. In this day and age it is rare-even though that is heartbreaking to say. I can think of no less than 3 people right now that don’t even fight for the kids they have living in the same city.

  3. Jennifer December 3, 2009 at 5:18 am #

    Brought me to tears…. Hope this works out….

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