Family Christmas Party

21 Dec

This year (as well as last), Scott and I opted not to attend the family Christmas party on his side. There are a number of reasons why we didn’t attend last year, as well as this year. On the day of the party I felt absolutely horrid. I wanted to see all of the kids in the family and wanted everyone to see our children. I have always wanted to be part of a large family, and now that I have nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews on my husband’s side, I’d really like to get to know them and for them to know me, but it seems as though that isn’t to be.

So I was really looking forward to the family Christmas party on my side. This is the second year we’ve done it – I have 3 step-sisters and for a very long time we never communicated. Now, however, thanks to the amazing instant connection that the internet affords us, we’ve been able to get things settled and to get to know each other all over again (me getting to know them and vice versa, obviously).

For this Christmas we do a kids swap – each child gets the name of another child – and limit the amount you can spend to $10. For the adults we do what I’ve been told is a Chinese Christmas, where every adult buys a present for another adult and we take turns picking something. You can either pick something from under the tree or you can pick a gift that someone else had. We limit the gifts for this to under $20.

We chose last year to do it at our house because we’ve got a very open area for parties like this, and plenty of toys for the  kids to play with. This year the girls decided they wanted it at our house again because it went so well last year and because the kids all wanted to play the Wii again. (Lemme tell you what, I have a just-barely teenaged niece who can kick serious butt in Wii boxing!)

It was extremely easy to set everything up with everyone, and I had tons of fun buying all the gifts. Today went really, really well. Everyone seemed to have a great time. There was lots of laughter. The children had tons of fun and wound up making tons of messes (of course! They’re kids!). The craft I did with the kids turned out great and the Chinese Christmas was HILARIOUS! Scott even got my very shy teenaged niece singing along with Rock Band. As for the Chinese Christmas, I managed to snag a cool glass bar set (has 4 wine glasses, 4 shot glasses, 4 tall glasses, and 4 scotch glasses that all go on a metal display rack – guess I need to start drinking shots!), and poor Scott wound up with a girly bath set – or, should I say, has gifted me with the girly bath set he wound up with. He had his hands on $20 worth of scratch tickets, but someone else took them from him.

Things went amazingly well, and while I’m really happy that they did, I find a part of myself sad. I’m sad that we weren’t able to attend Scott’s family Christmas. I’m sad that they don’t accept me. I’m sad that my children don’t really know who they are, even though we’ve tried to make an effort for them to get to know our children and vice versa. I’m even sadder that Scott doesn’t seem to be upset by this whole thing. Maybe it’s because he’s a guy, or maybe he has been treated like this his whole life by his sisters, I don’t really know. I do know, however, that I wish things could get solved with his family so we could enjoy the type of family christmas that we had here today.

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3 Responses to “Family Christmas Party”

  1. Jenera December 21, 2009 at 3:38 am #

    You know, we only spend time with a few select people in Daniel’s family and it doesn’t bother us one bit. Mainly because if we don’t want to be around them any other day of the year, why should christmas be any different?

  2. Jeannie and Michael December 23, 2009 at 12:11 am #

    Just wanted to comment on another perspective. Scott has not been treated any different than any other siblings. The Christmas Party was alot of fun and you CHOSE not to come. Don’t see any of the effort you are talking about making. Alot of the stuff you are saying is just not true- think you need a reality check.

  3. Sue January 1, 2010 at 11:27 pm #

    It is being my second Christimas party with my husband side. They said the gift should be 50.00 dolares. It hurts me because we are not well financial and we had to buy gift for my husbad’sister kids (2 girls) and my husband’s brother kids (3 kids). Plus it is 2 parties, one at his uncle house and one at his mother house next day. we buy gift for many people because they will give something for us too. It irritate me because they have everything, they have so much… what else i can give? My family is poor and dont have nothing, i have a nephew without father who barely has clothes, and i feel mad when i see all the gifts that american kids has. I think i should give something that i could aford to buy. But they send us a list of things and price, so i do have to do the same. I went to my husband’s uncle party at night 24th, and wanted to give to my sister in law her daughters gifts as i knew she would not be at my mother’s in law next day for dinner and exchanging gifts, and she said me: Sorry i dont want get the gifts tonight because i didnt bring your kids gifts, we will meet other day and will enchange gifts. The problem is, i m marriad for 2 years and i dont know them, they dont know me and they dont care about me, they never asked me about my life before i moved to USA, they never asked if i was appy, if i need something, how about my family. they are strange for me, and i hate to get toghter with them, i do it because my husband. Now his sister called and she wants to meet us tomorrow afternoon at 4pm for exchanging gifts. I dont want to go and my husband is mad with me saing that i m not respecting him and his family. he never see how i feel or how his sister and his brother family dont care about me. i wish i could give the dinner any other time when i will meet them for any other reason. Why do i have to meet her tomorrow if it was her who didnt bring the gifts at the uncles house? what to do? It is really making me sick. I cant stand with it. every holiday is the same, i have to be with my husband side for dinner as my family live in other country and i have to stand there as invisible.

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