Just the Two Of Us

10 Jan

Completely sappy.

There aren’t tons of photos of Scott and I together. Why? Two reasons:

1. I HATE my picture being taken. And actually there’s a really good reason I don’t like my picture taken: because the picture I have of me in my head NEVER matches reality. So being shown a picture of myself is always depressing. Not that I think that I look like Milla Jovovich or anything, but I don’t think that I look like Shamu either, until I see my picture.

2. I’m always the one behind the camera!

We had a bit of an…odd weekend. We had a wake and a funeral to attend, so while we got to spend a little extra alone time together, it definitely wasn’t “happy” alone time. Then we split up for a bit on Friday so I could get some errands done and so he could relax a bit. Then Saturday I was trying to finish a big work project and he was a huge help by doing the housework and keeping the kids entertained, until later that evening when we had to go to a birthday party.

The birthday party was at a bowling alley and I’d briefly mentioned to him that I’d love for the two of us to rent a lane and to have some fun ourselves. He, at first, said that it was a waste of money, and I actually got a bit upset about that. Who isn’t trying to save money after the holidays? But, at the same time, how often do he and I do anything alone together that’s fun? We try to have little “date” nights, which generally consist of us getting something to eat and watching a movie while the kids are in bed, but I really want to spend more time with him.

I’ve been taking note of other relationships and trying to figure out why I get so antsy if we haven’t spent much alone time in a few months, and I think I’ve narrowed something down: we didn’t have much time alone together before Toad came around. Toad was born a bit over a year after we first met each other, and 9 months of that time was spent with me feeling miserable and throwing up constantly. And then, directly after Toad was born, Scott’s mother was diagnosed cancer and spent months, with the support of her family, fighting it. Then, fairly soon after she passed, we got married, had a honeymoon, and then, again in a short time, we moved to our current home. Then, literally less than two months after we moved here we became foster parents to Scott’s nephew…I think you see where this is going.

There has always been something going on. Life is always making sure that Scott and I are busy, and while I appreciate everything that we have, and wouldn’t change a thing, I think it explains why I feel the need to have alone time with him. I remarked to him the other day that the two of us never really had a “getting to know you” period, and he agreed. We didn’t live together alone very long, and the idea of how we’ll live when the kids grow up and go to college is actually a bit intimidating. Lots of couples say that they go back to the way things were “before”, albeit with a few changes. We didn’t really have a “before”, so what will we be like? Will we be eating every meal in front of the television because we don’t have anything else to say to each other? Will we (God forbid) be sleeping in different beds?

I try not to ponder the future, and to simply enjoy what I have, in front of me, right now, which means that as much as I hate it I need to start taking pictures of the two of us together. And he needs to stop arguing over spending $20 for just the two of us. He did eventually agree to go bowling with me, and then we made a bet – the winner got a 20 minute massage from the loser. Guess who won?

That massage? Kicked ass :).


One Response to “Just the Two Of Us”

  1. Tracey January 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    Good BET!!

    My hubby and I both had kids before we met & married. So its never been ‘just us’ unless the kids are visiting the OPs (other parents) or grandparents. So I understand where you are coming from.

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