Not Where I Expected

4 Mar


One of my favorite wedding photos – so far.

Who I am really keeps surprising me. – – Poet Nikki Giovanni

Fifteen years ago I was 16 years old. All I really wanted at that point in time was my own vehicle, and a job to pay for it. But I remember having dreams of the future. At that time my dreams were simple:

  • Get a car
  • Graduate high school
  • Go to college
  • Major in History
  • Go to grad school
  • Become a prosecuting attorney
  • Get married
  • Have children
  • Live happily ever after

That was what I had planned. That was the dream I had for more years than I can remember, and my mother was extremely supportive of the dream. She wanted me to go to college and she loved the idea that I was going to be an attorney – the fact that I loved to argue may have had something to do with it.

But plans change. I did graduate high school. I did get a job. I did attend college. In college, though, things didn’t work out as I thought they would. Firstly I got involved with a boy – the boy that I thought would be “the one”. He was, well, a bit of an oddity, but he seemed to love me, and he was a nice guy for all of his oddness. I did major in History, but it turned out that I wasn’t that great at History. I loved history that I loved to read, but when it wasn’t something that interested me, it turned out that I didn’t care for it quite so much.

My adviser took me aside and told me that I might want to think about majoring in something different. I had my High School transcript in my hands and was walking down the hall after that meeting when I started to look it. I wanted to prove that I was decent in History and started looking at the grades I’d gotten. After looking at the transcript for a few minutes, however, I saw a pattern emerging: English. I’d taken every English class that I could in High School, and English was the only AP class I’d taken. Talk about getting a smack upside the head – why hadn’t I majored in English for college? So I switched my major and started soaking up all of the English classes that I could. That’s where I started thriving.

Then the boyfriend broke up with me to date a 16 year old and my mother, who thoroughly disliked my boyfriend and couldn’t wait for me to move out of the apartment we shared, introduced me to Scott. Six months later I was in the ER being told that I wasn’t sick and dying, I was pregnant. Then Scott’s mother got ill, and so on and so forth. We did our best not to lament about the curves that life had thrown us, but instead dealt with the cards the best that we could.

If you would have told me back then that I’d be where I was today, I wouldn’t have believed you. If you told me that I would have two amazing children and would be closing up on 9 years of marriage, and almost 12 years as a couple, I would have thought you were crazy. But if you told me that I would be working at home as a writer, and that I’d have a photography business that was thriving and that was growing steadily, I would have truly thought that you were absolutely and thoroughly nuts.

I’m thankful. I’m grateful. I’m in awe. I’m humbled. I’m excited. I’m looking forward to the future. I’m content with the past and thankful for what life has given my family.

I’m happy.

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7 Responses to “Not Where I Expected”

  1. dee March 4, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

    Funny how life takes turns on us. Mine is certainly nothing like I had planned for it to be either.

  2. Tracey March 4, 2011 at 5:07 pm #

    Well said…We all make plans and sometimes we end up in a different place but exactly where we were meant to be.

    Lyrics to “This” by Darius Rucker … sums it up for me!

    Got a baby girl sleepin’ in my bedroom
    And her momma laughing in my arms
    There’s the sound of rain on the rooftop
    And the game’s about to start
    I don’t really know how I got here
    But I’m so glad that I did
    And it’s crazy to think that one little thing
    Could have changed all of this
    Maybe it didn’t turn out like I planned
    Maybe that’s why I’m such, such a lucky man

    Every stoplight I didn’t make
    Every chance I did or I didn’t take
    All the nights I went too far
    All the girls that broke my heart
    All the doors that I had to close
    All the things I knew but I didn’t know
    Thank God for all I missed
    Cause it led me here to this

    Like the girl that I loved in high school
    Who said she could do better
    Or the college I wanted to go to
    Till I got that letter
    All the fights and the tears and the heartache
    I thought I’d never get through
    And the moment I almost gave up
    All led me here to you
    I didn’t understand it way back when
    But sittin’ here right now
    It all makes perfect sense

    Every stoplight I didn”t make
    Every chance I did or I didn’t take
    All the nights I went too far
    All the girls that broke my heart
    All the doors that I had to close
    All the things I knew but I didn’t know
    Thank god for all I missed
    Cause it led me here to this

    Oh I cried when my momma passed away
    And now I got an angel
    Looking out for me today
    So nothing’s a mistake

    Every stoplight I didn’t make
    Every chance I did or I didn’t take
    All the nights I went too far
    All the girls that broke my heart
    All the doors that I had to close
    Everything I knew but I didn’t know
    Thank God for all I missed
    Cause it led me here to this
    Led me here to this

  3. Megan March 4, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    Yay for happy.

    Love, love, love the picture.

  4. scootersbabygirl March 4, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    it is funny where life takes us. Definitely!

  5. scootersbabygirl March 4, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    I absolutely agree Tracey!!

  6. scootersbabygirl March 4, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    Coming from you, Megan, that means a great deal!

  7. Brian March 4, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    This is so cool to read. Thanks.

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